I saw my oncologist today. The last time I saw her was in August.
I had had my blood test done on 30 Oct, Thursday, when I went for my physiotherapy.
My cancer marker has gone up a little - it is now 13.4 up from 12.7 in August. I hadn't expected this, and was expecting it to go down further or remain stable. Anyway, my onco didn't seem worried. To be honest, I was a little stressed out recently and feeling tired, so this should not come as a surprise. Now that my marker has gone up a little, I ought to seriously consider the trigger factors. Old habits die hard, but I guess it boils down to discipline.
Other than the marker going up slightly, the physical examination seemed okay.
Sometimes, I contradict myself. Sometimes, I wish that when I wake up the next morning, how wonderful it would be to find that everything was just a nightmare. Unfortunately, I have to be realistic - this is one nightmare that I will never get away from, and that like it or not, it will be with me.
I live with the knowledge that no matter what precautions I take, there is no guarantee that I can keep the big C away forever. And that if it comes back, there is a probability that it will hit harder. Well, I am just happy that I am still living today, and tomorrow is another story. There are so many things that I want to do, and right now, I have to hurry it up with the junking.
I have stopped herceptin but still continuing with aredia (to protect my bones). The aredia iv lasted two hours. I should be expecting bone pain for the next few days.
I am scheduled for another aredia iv in mid December and will be seeing my onco next in Jan 09. Time really flies, it's more than one year since my relapse and I have been fighting all this time and still not out of the woods yet. Again, my onco has advised that should anything come up, I should call and she will fit me in right away.
I have also managed to persuade my onco to have my central line taken out. Wow, from the point of entry, the tube went at least some 6 inches into my blood vessel in my chest. At least it came out clean and the nurse had put a pressure plaster there. I was told not to carry heavy stuff for now and not to sleep on that side (left) tonight, as any pressure may causing bleeding.
That's going to be tough. I can't lie on my right because I have lymphedema on my right arm and I can't sleep the whole night through on my back because by about 4 plus in the morning, my back will ache. Fortunately, it's only for one night and I guess I should be alright.
Monday, 3 November 2008
Exposure to mobile phone usage
Some days ago, I received a call from a recent acquaintance - I met her when I was warded in SGH in Feb this year. Her mum was also warded and she was there to keep her company.
My mobile phone was faulty and I was using an old Nokia phone (without the ear piece) when she called. Her mum has passed away in May and she was very much affected by her mum's demise.
Halfway through the call, I had wanted to tell her that I would call her back from my landline phone, but as she sounded so upset, I let her continue. Before the call ended, I was having a dull pain in my head. This headache continued for a couple of days.
I had used that phone some years back and had not recalled having a reaction like this before. I wonder if my body has suddenly become so sensitive due to the chemo or the cancer. Whatever it was, I truly believed that there is some danger in the long term usage of the mobile phones.
I fear for the young people of today - people like my son, who always seemed to have the mobile phone glued to his ear, and who always turned a deaf ear to my concerns.
My mobile phone was faulty and I was using an old Nokia phone (without the ear piece) when she called. Her mum has passed away in May and she was very much affected by her mum's demise.
Halfway through the call, I had wanted to tell her that I would call her back from my landline phone, but as she sounded so upset, I let her continue. Before the call ended, I was having a dull pain in my head. This headache continued for a couple of days.
I had used that phone some years back and had not recalled having a reaction like this before. I wonder if my body has suddenly become so sensitive due to the chemo or the cancer. Whatever it was, I truly believed that there is some danger in the long term usage of the mobile phones.
I fear for the young people of today - people like my son, who always seemed to have the mobile phone glued to his ear, and who always turned a deaf ear to my concerns.
Support Group Activity
1 Nov 2008, Saturday - I attended an activity, Journey through story telling (or was it journey through role playing - I am not too sure now), organised by the support groups.
I appreciate the fact that the support groups organised so many activities for cancer patients. I wished more patients and their family members could forget cancer once in a while, relax and take part in these activities.
It's so nice to be able to let go and not be tied down by - sleep early, no stress, no anger, eat right - there's no end to this.
The activity that I attended with my elder daughter was an opportunity for us to get to know other patients and at the same time, have some fun.
Through role playing, we get to reflect on our actions and our views of others, and hopefully have a better understanding of beings that we take for granted. Rather interesting, I must say.
I have made a few new friends and there was one, especially, who was so positive and happy-go-lucky, that I find her attitude so infectious. We planned to meet up again in the next few days and I look forward to having her positiveness rubbing off on me :).
I appreciate the fact that the support groups organised so many activities for cancer patients. I wished more patients and their family members could forget cancer once in a while, relax and take part in these activities.
It's so nice to be able to let go and not be tied down by - sleep early, no stress, no anger, eat right - there's no end to this.
The activity that I attended with my elder daughter was an opportunity for us to get to know other patients and at the same time, have some fun.
Through role playing, we get to reflect on our actions and our views of others, and hopefully have a better understanding of beings that we take for granted. Rather interesting, I must say.
I have made a few new friends and there was one, especially, who was so positive and happy-go-lucky, that I find her attitude so infectious. We planned to meet up again in the next few days and I look forward to having her positiveness rubbing off on me :).
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