I Can't Breathe

My cough was getting and I guessed the fluid must have built up pretty quickly in my lungs. I was also labouring with my breathing.

14 Feb 08 - 2 of my friends from my pre-U days, J and G, visited. They were worried and concerned when they saw my condition. Said I was in no condition to be left alone at home and insisted that I should get myself warded. G, who is a homemaker, volunteered to send me to the hospital if necessary.

I assured them that I was monitoring my condition, and anyway, after my discharge from Changi, I had also made an appointment with my medical oncologist, Dr Wong, for 18 Feb.

That night, as I lie down, I realised that I was really having problems with my breathing. But I had relief when I switched on the negative ionizer that my cousin J had lent to me.

15 Feb 08 - I awoke at about 7 or 8 am. My son was in the army and was only home in the weekends. Recently, my husband had taken over the preparation of breakfast for the girls, and they were then in school. My husband had gone to work.

The moment I got up and switched off the negative ionizer, I could not breathe. Strangely and probably by instinct, I did not panicked. Instead, I did everything in slow motion. I moved to open the window, but that didn't help. Next, I made my way to the living room, switched on the ceiling fan, opened the sliding doors to the balcony, and sat down on the sofa. With the ceiling fan on, I slowly felt slightly better.

After I rested a while, I went to wash up. All the time, I had been deliberating if I should go to the hospital then or wait until Monday for my appointment. Even though I was moving slowly, I realised that I couldn't make it through the day in that condition.

I called my eldest brother, who was then staying with my mum, and told him I couldn't breathe and I needed to go to hospital. My brother said he would come over and accompany me there. I called my girlfriend, G, and told her I needed her help. I helped myself to some breakfast and packed some of my stuff. I had also packed my Carnivora medicine and the herbal paste from my herbal master. I had brought these along too when I was warded in Changi and had taken them everyday throughout my stay there.

G fetched me to A & E at SGH and my brother stayed to help me with the admission. After I was checked, I was quickly put on oxygen.

It was a long wait for a bed, and I was getting hungry and needed the toilet. I told a nurse and he moved me to the progress ward and gave me a late lunch.

It was a few hours later before a bed was available for me in ward 53. I was told this was only temporary and that I would be moved to the oncology ward as soon as a bed was available.

At ward 53, I was put on drip as well as on oxygen. I had my dinner and spent one night here.

I had my blood tests as well as a heart function (MUGA- Multiple Gated Acquisition scan) test done. Before the scan, two liquids (I think they called it a stain), were injected into the blood stream at 20 minutes interval.

My cancer marker had shot up from 69.3 on 4 Dec 07 to 309 now.