Dying in my place

About a week ago, someone told me that the spouse died in my place. This person's spouse died and that's why I am alive now. I got over my initial shock and tried to reason, but this person was adamant.

True, in Jan/Feb last year, I was very weak and was more dead than alive. My onco thought I was a goner and that was the impression given to my family members. The hospice staff who saw me probably also didn't expect me to pull through.

I supposed I was the only one who didn't think I was going to die, especially when I was finally not oxygen-dependent and managed to leave the onco ward by walking out instead of being carried out in a box.

But that was in Jan/Feb last year. This person's spouse died suddenly in July last year. By July, I was already done with chemo, and I was on the mend. So, how could that person have died in my place.

I don't know how this conclusion came about, but I think it's sheer stuff and nonsense.

If my time was up, and I have to die, so be it. I definitely don't wish for anybody, good or bad, to die in order that I can survive.

My religious master had told me that my time wasn't up yet. I was on ayurvedic medicine and I had faith in the ayurvedic master. I was also on another alternative medicine. There were so many people praying for my recovery. I am sure that none of them would have prayed for someone else to be sacrificed in my place. Surely, I am not that great a person to deserve this.

It sounded like a great sacrifice and a glorious one too, but, sorry to say, I definitely was not the beneficiary. I am just glad that that person did not die in Jan/Feb last year, otherwise I may have to live with the thought that I could have robbed a family of a member and that's why my life was spared. This is so irrational and utterly ridiculous.