Shin's passing

I was so surprised and saddened to learn in the papers two Saturdays ago that Shin (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) had passed away in January this year. I had visited her blog briefly sometime last when M told me about it. This news affected me so much that I felt like crying. More so because her embattered body had been subjected to round after round of chemo and yet the chemo failed to save her life. I wonder how her death had been classified as - death from cancer or death from too much chemo.

Over the past few days, I started reading her blog from the very first post. Not really going into the details, but more glancing through since I have overstrained my eyes, that they hurt and I don't see(read) very well. She was diagnosed in 2005 and I was diagnosed in 2006. There were some similarities in our cases.

Both of our cancers were in the advanced stage when diagnosed; -in the right breast and had biopsies and mastectomies.

Shin's :
Tumour measured 3.3 x 1.4 x 2.8 cm
Multifocal DCIS
Out of 17 lymphnodes removed, 2 contained micrometastasis
Grade 3 cancer cells
ER/PR negative, Her2 negative, P53 positive

Mine :
Tumour - 5 x 3.5 x 1.5 cm
Invasive + DCIS
Out of 9 lymphnodes removed, 4 contained metastasis, biggest is 13mm
Grade 3 cancer cells
ER/PR and Cerb2 positive

Shin's treatment :
12 cycles of chemo - Taxol + Carboplatin + Herceptin
28 doses (days) of radiation
Herceptin continued for nearly a year after chemo was completed

Mine :
I was prescribed
8 cycles of chemo + hormone treatment in between
5 weeks of radiation
1 year of Herceptin
5 years of Tamoxifen
I refused all conventional treatments and instead used alternative and natural medication

Shin's relapse :
Aug 2007 (which was about 20 months after she was first diagnosed in Dec 2005)

My relapse :
Aug 2007 (which was about 10 months after I was first diagnosed in Oct 2006)
I had completed my course of natural medication and was supposed to have continued with maintenance but I did not as I was also being treated by a naturopath which turned out to be a costly mistake.

Shin passed away after a 3 year fight with cancer.

I am into my third year since I was first diagnosed. When I had the relapse last year, the cancer had spread to my liver, several parts of my bones and the fluid filling up the linings of my lungs tested positive for cancer, that I had to have chemo. I was prescribed 6 cycles but I stopped at 5. The drugs prescribed were Taxotere (Docetaxol) + Carboplatin + Herceptin. I stopped chemo in June 2008 and Herceptin in Sep 2008 (meaning I did not complete the one year of Herceptin).

I am now off all types of conventional treatments and medications and relying solely on ayurvedic herbs and natural medication, and so far I am doing fine. Let's just see how long my choice of treatment can keep me alive.

As I read Shin's blog, I couldn't help thinking; what if I had listened to my doctors and concerned friends and family members, and gone for conventional treatment, would also I be fighting so hard for my life as Shin had done? And what if Shin had opted for alternative medicine, would she still be here and posting on her blog?

I have no definite answer to that because, it may be that my cancer was not as complicated as Shin's, or that it is still too early for me to tell.

For now, all I am thinking of is that if my cancer comes back again, I may not want to go for chemo again because it is too high a price (financially, emotionally and physically) to pay. I would want to use traditional herbs to control my pain, if necessary, til the last.