Cross Roads

I feel that I have come to a cross junction again.

On the road leading left is the traditional and natural therapy. To the right is the conventional and pro chemo. From this junction, I cannot see the end. I am aware that at the end of either way, it will branch off to survival or suffering and death.

I would have preferred to tread the middle path where there is a balance between traditional/natural and the conventional. Where both sides can work together for the sake of patients. Unfortunately this is not possible as I can see a wall blocking the road and a sign saying 'dead end'.

I realised that people like me who wanted a balance will always come to cross junctions. It would have been easier if I had just stuck to one side, whatever the ending will be.

If I tell the traditionalist that my onco wanted me to go through more chemo, he will probably say that by doing that, my onco will be doing me more harm. I told the onco that I wanted to rely on the traditional therapy and she said, "I tell you, it doesn't work".

It's not that I don't want to listen to the onco, it's just that I think that conventional practitioners tend to overkill.

With chemo, the results are almost immediate, but the damage is also great, whereas traditional medicine worked very slowly.

My onco is now spreading out her appointments with me. I will only see her next on 3 Nov. But she did say that if I decided to go for chemo, I should just call and make an appointment to see her. I could tell by the way she stretched the appointments that I am not in immediate danger.

It's time for me to get a second opinion.