Dull Brain

Nowadays, I noticed that my brain has become very dull.

I wonder if the chemicals and heavy metals from the chemo and all the tests are clogging my brain and made it sluggish.

Originally, I have never been very good at civilities, but now it seemed to be worse.

I noticed that on numerous occasions where an appropriate civil response should be expected from me in answer to a polite comment, I had always remain silent, at most giving a smile.

Sometimes, the reply was in my mind but not a sound came out from my mouth. It looks like there is some communication problem between different parts of my brain.

It is like someone throwing a ball to me. I can see the ball coming and I know I should raised my hands to catch it, but somehow there is no reaction from me and I just let the ball bounced off me. It is so weird.

Another thing is my memory. It is like a sieve now, full of holes. Sometimes, I needed to take something from the room, but after a few steps, I could not remember why I am heading in that direction and for what purpose. I had to retrace my steps and try hard to recall what it was that I was supposed to be doing.

Sometimes, I got my appointment times and dates mixed up too. Now, I cannot depend on my memory and have to check my information constantly. It is frustrating.